Returning To Joy: 7 Tips To Live Happy
By Beth Wilson, Accredited Life Coach
As we learn to navigate adulthood, busy lifestyles and whatever else life throws at us, we can lose touch of what makes us happy. More clients are coming to me saying the same thing - they feel like they’re lost, floating along in life without knowing where to turn to find happiness.
As a life coach trained in transformative coaching, I help people to make positive change. Here are my 7 top tips for living happier:
1. Adopt a gratitude attitude.
Gratitude genuinely changed everything for me. Rewind to the start of the pandemic and I was doing a daily search for a glimpse of hope. I had a rule that I couldn’t get out of bed until I’d thought of at least 3 things that I was grateful for. Some days it was harder than others, but I’ve never looked back. There’s research to show the positive effects of gratitude: Emmons & McCollough found that compared to a control group who focused on the bad things that had happened, the gratitude group were more optimistic, happy and actually did more exercise. The thing with gratitude is, the more we find things to be grateful for, the more we see the good in life. I promise, even on your worst days, there’s always something to be grateful for.
If you don’t know where to start, take a pause, get comfy and ask yourself, ‘what is good right now in this moment?’
2. Focus on the glimmers.
Glimmers are the opposite of triggers, they are moments of awe. The concept of glimmers comes from the Polyvagal Theory from behavioural neuroscientist Stephen Porges. The theory details how our autonomic nervous system (which controls involuntary actions) is constantly seeking out clues to decipher what is good from what is potentially harmful. Life is full of small joys and glimmers waiting to be noticed and appreciated. You could journal in the evening or speak to your flatmate/partner/family about what glimmers you took time to notice that day.
3. Move your body in whatever way feels good.
Exercise can be challenging and push us way out of our comfort zones, but I would encourage you to find the thing you do enjoy. If you enjoy it, you’re more likely to keep going back to it. It could be that walking is your thing - how can you invite more of that into your week; can you set yourself a challenge? Or if yoga is more suited to you - can you commit to two classes a week or try a different, new class? Exercise classes are also a great way to meet people and feel a sense of community (hey, another thing to be grateful for, right?)
4. Wear clothes that fit and feel good.
Is there anything worse than looking in your wardrobe and not feeling inspired or being faced with clothes that don’t fit? For a long time, I was putting off going up a dress size but it meant I just didn’t feel good in the majority of my wardrobe. The moment I surrendered to that, I could enjoy what I was wearing. I felt comfortable. Personally, I love embracing colour and dopamine dressing, this is what brings me the most joy. Can you do an audit on your wardrobe? Get rid of what doesn’t fit properly - send it off to a charity shop, clothing bin or sell them on a site like Vinted. Can you also inject a little more colour to give you a feel-good boost? If you’re not feeling too brave yet, invest in some colourful pops of colour like a bag, scarf or a gilet.
5. Try something new.
There’s actually an area in our midbrain, the substantia nigra/ventral tegmental, which is nicknamed as the ‘novelty centre’, and it loves to be rewarded with new experiences. It’s also linked with the amygdala and hippocampus which are responsible for our memories. Our brains crave new experiences to create and store meaningful memories. Inviting new things into our lives broadens our horizons, brings us joy and can bring new conversations and connections. Well hello craft workshop and maybe a holiday to somewhere not yet explored?!
6. Do something creative.
When was the last time you did something creative? As adults, we don’t always get to use our creativity, or make time for doing something creative. Life can take over a bit. Studies have shown that creativity positively impacts our subjective wellbeing (that is as Diener has defined - individuals’ evaluation of their own lives). But it seems creativity can work both ways - being creative makes us happy and if we’re happy, we’re more likely to be creative. According to the broaden-and-build theory, positive mood states, such as feeling joy and hope, motivate people to explore and accept new information which can improve the flexibility of creativity. You might not think of yourself as a creative person but there’s different ways this can show up for you. This could be in the way you decorate your home, or maybe in the way you dress or your approach to problem solving. Think about ways you could add some creative flair to a mundane task - got some thinking to do? Grab some paper and pens to draw out your brain storming. Need to prepare a presentation for work? You could use a programme like Canva or Butter to bring something new to the table (and avoid that death by powerpoint feeling!)
7. Make a happy list.
This is an easy one. Think about what brings you happiness - the smaller the things, the better. Write it all down. You could get creative and fill a jar with post-its or folded pieces of paper, write it in your journal or save it in your notes on your phone. This list will come in handy when you feel busy and overwhelmed. It might sound a bit silly needing a list but trust me, when you’re in that moment - sometimes you just need a quick and easy reminder. It will teach you over and over again about what brings you joy, why you love it, and will hopefully encourage you to do more of it. Sunday bath? Yes please. Reading in bed? Sign me up. And when’s the kitchen disco happening?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Beth Wilson
Accredited Life Coach
Beth Wilson is an accredited life coach who specialises in happiness. Her mission is to help people live a happy life - whatever that looks like for them. She offers 1:1 coaching services both online and in-person in Nottingham. Additionally, she hosts workshops (in-person & online) about the tools that can help you live a happy life. Gratitude, staying motivated, and confidence boosting are all frequent workshop themes, and more creative workshops are also available, such as creating vision boards and journaling.
Instagram: @livehappy_coach
Website: livehappycoach.co.uk