Dealing with Comparison and Competition within the Fashion Industry

By Lucy Beresford

The biggest obstacle to emotional wellbeing and a stress-free life is the hamster-wheel of comparison and competition. We long to feel the satisfaction of being chosen or accepted, because it makes us feel safe and valued. As a result, we are constantly evaluating where we stand in relation to others. Whether it’s a memory of a sibling getting a better Christmas present, or of not being picked for the school sports team, not succeeding feels like rejection, which is why it can damage our sense of self-worth.

Add into the mix social media, with its ‘likes’ and ‘retweets’, or the ease with which we can see the airbrushed lives or careers of others on Facebook or Instagram, and our capacity for jealousy or envy intensifies.

Research has shown that comparing ourselves negatively with anyone can quickly drag us down to feeling worthless or hopeless. While the success of others can be inspirational, it can also leave us feeling inferior.

The great news however, is that there are ways to survive the modelling industry with your self- esteem intact:

Don’t take it personally

Modelling is an industry where everything is subject to the judgment of others. Casting directors, photographers, picture editors, agents, consumers – everyone has a view. And if you are up for a casting but don’t get it, it can feel like a personal attack. The most important tool in your self-care kit is to reframe what is happening around the casting, which is to de-personalise it. Whether it’s a shoot or a catwalk, you are in some sense an object in the process. Remembering this means you can let go of any sense of having failed. Instead, take your Ego out of the equation and recognise that if you are not chosen, it’s not about you. And even if you are chosen for the campaign or the fashion show, it’s also not about you.

Enrich your life

Working in an industry which, as explained above, sees you as nothing more than an object brings its own emotional complications. It can feel very demoralising if, despite being on a billboard a mile high, you feel you are not truly seen. To combat this, make time to seek out people or activities beyond work that really make you feel seen and valued. Cultivate healthy friendships, invest in quality family time, play a sport you love with no agenda, find a creative outlet or volunteer for a charity – or even set one up, in an area you feel passionate about. These non-work activities will help you find meaning in your life which, studies show, is the absolute key to feeling fulfilled and content in life.

Let Go

In particular, let go of the idea that you can control life. A lot of things are in our control, but not everything is, It’s one of life’s great skills to be able to, as they say in the serenity prayer, work out what you can control and be at peace with the things you can’t. Social media has a part to play here, because creating an apparently perfect existence seems within our grasp. Yet if you release your attachment to the outcome of any project or initiative, you create a more peaceful energy around things happening. And cultivate a healthy social media habit: limit your time on screens, and in particular have a protocol of letting go of all tech for a full hour before bedtime.

Silence your inner critic

It’s easy to compare ourselves to others and wish that we had their physique, their attitude, their luck. This can set us up for relentless hunger to fit in, or to make changes in an attempt to be what we imagine other people want. Instead, have the confidence to be you. You are already unique and valuable. Say a mantra every day, such as ‘I am worthy of life’s blessings’, and write a list every evening of the Top Three Things that happened, to help you stay alert for the amazing little details of life. Remember that negative thoughts are just that – thoughts, not facts. Catch your negative thinking and consciously rewrite the script or negative self-beliefs running around your head.

Don’t judge

There’s enough judgment going on in the modelling world without you having to add to it! ‘Judge no-one’ is a life-enhancing principle to live by, and it’s even better when we apply it to ourselves. When you catch yourself comparing yourself with others, have compassion for that part of you that wants to do well and succeed. At such times, be more loving to yourself. By showing yourself more self-love, you will feel more fulfilled so your need to succeed or compete will be diluted.

Keep it real

Modelling has some similarities to acting. For a period of time, you are playing a part. This can make it hard to stay grounded. So too with social media, when we imagine that the lives paraded by others on their feeds are so perfect and fabulous. Remember how much artifice is a part of the industry, and how much tweaking of reality exists on a feed. Seek out a meditation course, such as Vedic meditation taught by the London Meditation Centre. Or practice mindfulness, particularly mindful eating where you concentrate on the textures and flavours and maybe chew up to fifty times in each mouthful, as a way of creating pockets of time in a hectic day where you can be present and grounded.

Lucy Beresford is an English writer, broadcaster, psychotherapist and TEDx speaker. To Learn more about Lucy head to her website or instagram.